the bitches

I like to think of myself as a glass-half-empty kind of girl. So when my friend, Enid, asked me if I would like to blog and bitch about the gluten-free “lifestyle”, naturally I said yes. I was diagnosed with celiac disease twelve years ago. Until then I had never even heard of gluten. No one else had either. This made me feel very special and kind of crazy. Now every other person I meet is gluten-free. This makes me feel much less special but the same amount of crazy.
Life is so unfair! Sarah
Sarah has had a while to get used to the gluten-free world, so she can be funny about it. But I just found out one day before Thanksgiving, when the pies and stuffing were already made and in the fridge. If you know about the five stages of grief, then you will recognize that I’m in the bitter, angry stage. Okay, hopefully bitter, angry and a little bit funny. God knows if you can’t laugh at your gravelly, flat, tasteless brownies, there’s no reason to go on, is there?  That’s why I have Sarah.  She brings me macaroons and reminds me to cheer up and have a Margarita.  Because here’s the thing:  Tequila is gluten-free.

Cheers! Enid

9 Responses to “the bitches”

  1. felicia February 3, 2012 at 2:52 pm #

    I love your shades Enid and the pearls are so you Sarah (even though we have never met). Write on Bitches cause I will be reading it all. xxoo feli

  2. Chris February 7, 2012 at 3:56 am #

    I have been waiting for Enid to start a blog for years, I am so happy that she has finally found a subject for her witty and keen observations. As one of Enid’s fellow eating companions I understand what a blow this whole gluten thing is to her, but I am so happy to see her turn something bad into something creative.
    My husband is also trying to be G-free so I look forward to some tips and tricks but mostly I appreciate the humor which you both have brought to this subject.
    I laughed out loud reading your blog – LOVE IT!

  3. jamie jeffries March 5, 2012 at 9:39 pm #

    Howdy Ho! O- glorious Bitches.
    By the way, You’ve got me in stitches.
    Of course, I already knew how funny both of you are. I always love your witty, sarcastic, clever writing and look forward to hearing you share your thoughts on any subject.
    But, WOW-WEE! You both soar on the subject of gluten-free. How perfect you are
    together. Birds of a feather, dovetailing your inner bitches, and tickling me with your
    observations. I’m not even gluten intolerant but I’ll always be your devoted blog fan.
    Can I be an honorary G-Bitch? I’m telling everyone I know to read this blog, gluten be damned.
    Love you both. XXJJOO

  4. jenwestdesign August 5, 2012 at 7:26 pm #

    Funny. I’m in the club now. Gluten Free Bitches Unite.

  5. Jill September 13, 2012 at 1:25 am #

    Thank you for making me smile! I am of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” group and after 2 and qtr years of being gf (well I thought I was), just found out about gluten in the sushi. I just thought it was the “spices”. Have you tried Joan’s GF Great Bakes? Best delivered frozen pizza, bagels and cinnamon cakes! Your gift box post was great, there are so many horrible items out there. I just bought Pamela’s granola bars, pathetic. I tweeted about “her”, @jillm55 Sometimes I’d rather eat my finger

  6. Carrie Barclay September 27, 2012 at 4:02 pm #

    Hi Bitches! We are Kitchen Bitching, you are Gluten Free Bitches … We should get together! Fancy guest blogging for us? Be fab to have more Bitches to stir the pot!

  7. Stacee Malcolm October 21, 2012 at 1:33 am #

    Ok… I adore all the GF bitch comments! 😉 It’s nice to know others exist in your gluten free Hell! (Is that mean?). 😉

    You have to laugh… And wonder if maybe God really did create glutten ferries ~ Or trolls… Why else would something like rice vinegar have glutten in it? And Roe? Seriously? They must flit around at midnight and sprinkle it over seeminly completely innocent foods for purely sadistic daytime entertainment value! I’m nursing a reaction today from my Sushi experience last night!! I thought I’d done well…. HA! Damn rice vinegar- 😉

  8. Marie February 19, 2013 at 6:05 am #

    I just came across you blog looking for gluten free sushi. I freakin love this blog! Thanks for the honesty! While I’m pissed I’ll never get to eat fluffy, doughy, goodness again, it’s not to be able to laugh about it too. Please write more!!!

  9. SSW February 27, 2014 at 6:39 am #

    Try being Gluten Free, Soy Free, and Dairy Free. What else is there to eat! Soy is hidden in everything from food, to body products. By the way, not all Tequila is Gluten Free, only those that are made from the Agave Plant,so the higher priced brands. 🙂

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