Here are two things I’ve been meaning to do:
Learn to make a perfect, killer, fluffy, rich chocolate cake, and become the kind of woman who is always pulling a loaf of gorgeously rustic, crusty-yet-tender homemade bread out of her oven.
I was waiting to learn both of those skills until I had a little bit more time, until my children were in college, until I found the right friend, or book, or teacher. Sometimes I would fantasize about learning to bake these things, and I would see myself (a thinner, wiser, more beautiful and evolved version of me, wearing a cute apron) standing in my kitchen admiring the perfect cake or bread I had just produced.
I have aunts and cousins and friends who bake cake and bread frequently and well. Just as I have friends and relations who run marathons, keep immaculate homes, and curl their eyelashes. I would like to be a tidy, wide-eyed long distance runner too, but what I really focused on during my fantasies was the cake and the bread. Tall, fluffy, toothsome cakes and breads. Yum.
But now it’s too late.
While I was busy in my dream state, planning all those delicacies, cutting out all those recipes, creating files for them, reading New York Times articles about the new, fool-proof bread-making method, so easy that even a child could make it, my body was busy screwing me over. Silently. I was trying to decide whether I wanted to begin with a francese or a sourdough, and wondering if Cousin Wendy would give me some of her twenty-year-old starter, while unbeknownst to me the cilia in my intestines were lying down and playing dead.
I guess that’s what they mean by Carpe Diem. All the time I was supposed to be seizing, all I was doing was dreaming. Now I am a celiac person (I really don’t like that whole “patient” thing), and my reality is gluten-free.
At least there are cocktails.
Today’s Treat: Lillet blanc on the rocks, with a tangerine twist. Dark chocolate-covered almonds for dessert. www.lillet.com (I buy it at Whole Foods); http://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/products/954 (almonds available online, at Whole Foods near you, or at Trader Joes).
Bye-bye for now,